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‘Goals are like ketchup’ – 365Scores’ Favourite Football Quotes from your Favourite Players and Managers
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“Goals are like ketchup,” Cristiano Ronaldo told reporters in 2010. “Sometimes, as much as you try, they don’t come out, and when they come, many come all at the same time.” Ronaldo clearly never heard the English classic during his seven years in England, “(Something) is like London buses, you wait ages for one, and then three come along at once. He put his own twist on it.
Recently, Diogo Jota quoted Ronaldo’s ketchup analogy to explain how he persevered through a 32-game goal drought. He said the quip helped him to bring a 12-month Premier League goal drought to a close.
In this article, 365Scores will rank ten of the best, funniest, and most classic football quotes from footballers and managers alike.
10. “I’ve had 14 bookings this season; eight of which were my fault, but seven of which were disputable.” – Paul Gascoigne
Starting us off, Paul Gascoigne demonstrates just how lucky he is that football worked out for him. Maths was never a strong point for him, luckily football was!
9. “The local girls are far uglier than the ones in Belgrade. Our women are far prettier and they don’t drink as much beer.” – Gjorghi Hristov
Ex-Barnsley striker Gjorghi Hristov clearly wasn’t a fan of the girls in Northern England…
It may have even affected his potency in front of goal as he only scored eight goals in 45 league appearances for the Tykes!
8. “I wouldn’t say I was the best manager in the business. I’d just say I’m in the top one.” – Brian Clough
Brian Clough always possessed humility as a manager. I mean, when you win consecutive Champions League trophies for Nottingham Forest, these are the sorts of bragging rights that you earn.
I recommend watching The Damned United (with Michael Sheen) to understand more about the fascinating character that is Clough.
7. “One regular day of Barclays is all I ask for” – Antonio Conte
A football Twitter classic, Conte sums up what we are all thinking. Can the Premier League ever just be normal? Thankfully, no. The drama of the league is what makes it the greatest of its kind.
6. “In that position I just have to smash it” – Odion Ighalo
This has become a classic over time. Often used on Twitter for various contexts, some even unrelated to football, Ighalo’s legacy at Manchester United has been preserved through this quote.
5. “Que miras, bobo” – Lionel Messi
Translating to ‘What are you looking at, fool?’, Messi was directing this quote at none other than Burnley and Netherlands striker Wout Weghorst. Strange, we know.
After an intense quarter-final clash against the Netherlands, Messi was a little aggravated at the end of the match. When he saw the tall Dutchman waiting to talk to him after his interview, the little magician got flustered and in an out-of-character moment, he snapped.
4. “This is heritage, you know what this is?” – Jose Mourinho
Jose Mourinho always knows best. In one of the greatest interviews of all time, Mourinho praises Manchester City and criticises the way that Manchester United functions. This angered fans at the time, but fans have since realised. Heritage is why City are where they are at the moment, and where United are where they are.
3. “SIUUUUUUUUUUUUUU.” – Cristiano Ronaldo
Do we even have to talk about this one? Everybody has emulated this at some point. Everybody. When Ronaldo went to collect his his Ballon D’Or award, he simply yelled ‘SIUUU’. From there, it went international. Who doesn’t say ‘SIU’ now at several intervals throughout the day?!
2. “We cannot replace him” – Pep Guardiola
So this essentially turned out to be the biggest lie of all time. Whilst Sergio Aguero was an unbelievable player, City went and replaced him the next season. With Erling Haaland. The Erling Haaland that broke the one-season scoring record in the Premier League in his first year with the club. The Erling Haaland that won the treble in his first year. The Haaland that has scored 60, yes 60, goals for Manchester City in 65 games. Oh Pep…
1. “I prefer not to speak… if I speak I am in big trouble, big trouble. And I don’t want to be in big trouble.” – Jose Mourinho
I say this one several times per day. Probably too much. When Mourinho was asked about the referee after a match in 2014, he simply responded that ‘he prefers not to speak’. It’s a classic. It it used in every meme format known to man. Simply fantastic.
By Nicky Helfgott / @NickyH3lfgott on Twitter (X)
